There’s a difference between being liked and being valued. A lot of people like you, not as many value you. Be valued.
A person of value delivers something of consequence to the equation.
The more interesting variable in the thought process is “what specifically constitutes value?”
In its most traditional expression, value is something that is exemplified through virtues or attributes that a specific person might embody, that are equal to, or greater, than the virtues or attributes of the other people around them.
For example, someone might be stronger, more intelligent, have a higher degree of training, a higher degree of personal aptitude, or be financially more secure. Value is something that is measured by the perceiving party. Someone may have incredible qualities of value, but, to the wrong audience, those qualities are completely lost for any one of one hundred different reasons.
In the course of trying to be someone of value, we improve ourselves through any of the myriad potential opportunities at our disposal. When we find ourselves in a group, those values are exemplified through a host of different qualities and attributes.
That said, there is a clear distinction between being valued and being used for one of your attributes. That difference lies in the heart and the motivation of the third-party who (presumably) values you. For example, you might be taller than average, so a person with lesser height might value you, just because you can reach the items on the top shelf. Or you might have very specific training in a narrow field of focus that is highly desirable to the party who wishes to leverage your knowledge to their benefit.
But value is not always a positive variable. In the dating world, there are plenty of people who will value you, just so you will take them to a fancy restaurant and buy them an expensive meal. Is that value? Or is that just being used by a party who is wise enough to leverage your assets to their benefit?
Working to become someone of value is a life journey. It is truly not achieved at any one particular point in time, rather it aggregates over the course of a lifetime, through a series of growth chapters, in which your value escalates exponentially as a direct result of whatever it was that you did that created the value in the first place.
When you select the people with whom you are most desirous of associating, you must continually remain cognizant of your value in the equation, so that they are more readily appreciative of all that you bring to the table. Once you have this perspective, the personal quality that is an appropriate companion for being someone of value, is genuine humility.
When you awaken to who and what you are, everyone else automatically awakens to who and what you are, without a word spoken.
Happy Tuesday!