He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.
ELBERT HUBBARD
What is it like to sit in silence next to someone with whom you are most comfortable?
There are times when there are absolutely no words, either because they are not necessary or because anything that could be said at that moment would be in discord with the moment itself.
How is it that we are so comfortable with some people in our most silent moments and entirely uncomfortable with others in the tiniest of silent, awkward moments?
The dynamic between ourselves and others will almost unquestionably define what this chasm of differences truly is and give each of us an opportunity to explore how or why the assorted silence is predetermined to stay within our respective comfort or send us on a concerted path to find something, anything to say, to break the silence.
When you have that degree of comfort with another, your ability to understand them, and allow them to be fully relaxed in your company with whatever experience might be troubling them, will enable them to come to an equilibrium they’re needing.
Sometimes, just our presence can make all the difference in the world, even if we have no words of comfort.
Human beings, being flock animals, are most relaxed in the company of others. We celebrate those fraternal experiences in our delight and joy in being with the right person under the right circumstances. Being with them under adverse circumstances may also help us to create an internal balance.
This mutual understanding gives each of us parameters under which we may operate in the company of another. Conversely, we are capable and willing to allow certain people to be around us in moments of stress, sadness, depression, or anxiety, because we treasure their presence, and feel a calming nature for their having been there to share the moment, and give us a greater sense of companionship that may be so needed at such an occasion.
When we are clear as to whether those people are capable of sharing our silence, we are all the more comfortable speaking truthfully when the moment arises… for only in those levels of mutual understanding, do we ever ultimately find the depth of relationship necessary for our most meaningful relationships.
Happy Monday!
Brian Weiner 