When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember they’re telling you their story, not yours.
CYNTHIA OCCELLI
How many naysayers have shut down a dream of yours?
What do you suppose gives them a reason to feel that way?
When people listen to another person‘s dream, there are multiple filters through which they listen.
One of those is the filter of incredulity in which they listen, but they do not believe that you could possibly be capable of accomplishing that which you are speaking about, even if you have already done it.
They will give you cause and reason to believe that some of your suppositions must not be wholly based in reality, because in their mind, they are already projecting their own inability to accomplish them.
I watch for this when I discuss projects that I am working on and I monitor closely how others respond. Within two or three sentences, as I watch their nonverbal body language, I evaluate what they are thinking.
As I am sharing with them, I allow for the fact that if I am speaking to a highly doubtful or negative audience, I intentionally minimize that of which I am speaking in order to get directly to their negative scrutiny.
I do not do this because I am seeking their negativity, but rather, I am not interested in extending a lot of time and energy explaining something to someone who clearly either does not believe in what I am talking about, or they doubt the veracity.
As someone who has spent career conquering the unknown daily, I am quite accustomed to these kinds of responses and have learned to process them through this filter in order that I do not expend an exorbitant amount of time and energy, trying to be persuasive for the benefit of an audience that clearly doesn’t get it.
This is not to say that it is not wise to stay open to constructive criticism and to learn how to best absorb and process any and all negative feedback that will come our direction.
For if we are negative to hearing opposing perspectives, how will we ever potentially learn to be better than what we are currently? When you listen to a traditional naysayer, more often than not, as today’s aphorism shares, you are really just the recipient of their admission of their own inability to conceive of how such an opportunity could potentially come to fruition.
Happy Thursday!
Brian Weiner 