Your value doesn’t decrease just because someone can’t see your worth.
Do you genuinely know what you are worth?
When another person does not see or appreciate that, do you feel diminished in your stature or value?
Working to build our own internal sense of self esteem, while allowing the world to reflect whatever it is that they think they see in you is a double-edged sword that cuts both ways.
If we are quick to deflect all external opinions about ourselves, we are risking the potential of losing a third person perspective, which in many cases, may prove to be quite valuable.
That said, just because another party sees what they think they see in you, does not mean they are correct, nor does it mean that you should take umbrage to whatever it is that has been expressed.
If we are truly neutral in our perspectives, we would float along with nary a care about what anyone says about us. The reality is that in very few circumstances do we ever find ourselves neutral. Feeling like that would be almost impossible since we are the protagonist in our own story.
So when others do not see the same value in you as you do, what is the proper reaction?
If we are most wise, I would presume we would listen carefully to what another person is willing to share with us, good, bad or indifferent. Once we have contemplated that which they have stated, it then becomes incumbent upon us to review that information with whatever degree of impartiality that we are able to muster.
If, through an objective perspective, we can see the value in some or all of that which they have shared, would we not be more wise to take that information to heart and evolve as a direct consequence? Even if part of what they have shared is valid, we are well-served to recognize this and to act in accordance.
In the event that we are not able to reconcile ourselves to the possibility that what they have shared is viable, then we are left with one of two choices. We must either discard their opinion as being just that, or we will suffer the ramifications of empowering that opinion to carry any gravitas in our mind.
Others do not see the world through your filter. Most of them never will. To achieve a higher degree of self worth and value, we are best served by understanding these variables and ensuring that the next time someone were to pass judgement on us, that we are able to see it as clearly just an opinion, and do not empower that opinion to carry any lasting impact on our internal image of ourselves and our relative self-worth.
Happy Wednesday!
Brian Weiner 