Everyone is trying to find the right person, but few are trying to be the right person.

Everyone is trying to find the right person, but few are trying to be the right person.

What does that even mean? How is one supposed to be the “right“ person? Wouldn’t that start with the question, “right according to whom?“

It is easy for us to presume that we are the right person. We get settled into our experiences, life patterns, beliefs, rituals and daily regimen, but does any of that actually make us right?

With the myriad of options readily available, paired with the possible permutations that could make up “right,” is there even such a thing?

I believe it is far more wise to look at this conundrum through the filter of not looking for one absolute set of variables that constitutes right, but rather a collective set of variables that gets us into the general ballpark. If we distill life into multiple quantifiable categories, we are probably more likely to distill that which is right from that which is wrong.

As I ponder this, I would presume at the top of the right list must come all of the antonyms for wrong. We would look at a list of laws, moral ethics and the like and we would quickly rule out a massive segment of all that is, thereby forming the subset of that which makes us right. Once we get to a standard list that most of civilization would deem congruent with their perspective of right behavior in society, we are still left with a broad swathe of variables that are less obviously quantifiable, and are abstract enough as to make each of us find our own collection, as to what we deem is right.

In a world of relationships, business and personal, we are continuously evaluating many subsets of these variables as to help us quantify with whom we wish to engage with any degree of longevity. If a person or entity meets enough of our prerequisite expectations, we are more willing to pursue that relationship. As we mature in life, that list of prerequisite variables continues to expand, if for no other reason than life experience showing us what variables do not work in past instances. 

So through our previous engagements, we are more readily able to identify that which is right (for us) in another, we are able to distill variables from the multitudes to the narrow focus in order that we may best choose a relationship that is likely to succeed in our current state of existence.

In the end, given that we are seeing that world through our own filter, it is apparent that everyone else in both the professional and personal spectrum must be doing same. We will never ever be the right person for everyone and every business opportunity. The focus on being the right person must stem from deep within. It is a continuous exploration of all that can be vs. all that we are currently. As we view both, side by side, we are wise to continuously shop from the column of all that can be, and perpetually add one or two of those qualities or characteristics to our list of all that we are currently, so that we remain a work in progress. 

In my experience, those who continue to age with the mindset of being a perpetual work in progress, with definitive processes for showing that improvement, are the ones who age with better mental and physical health, and are continuously more alive as a person than their peers.

There is always a definition of “right,” and it will always be up to you to define it and live up to it. If your definition of right does not stretch your limits sometimes, then you have the wrong definition.

Happy Sunday!

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Written by Brian Weiner
When I was 5 years old, I discovered that the lemon tree in the backyard + dixie cups + water and sugar and I was in business. I have been hooked on that ever since. In 1979, I borrowed $14,000 to create a brand new product... photographic greeting cards with no text on the inside, called Paradise Photography. That was the start of The Illusion Factory. Since then, The Illusion Factory has been entrusted by all of the major studios and broadcasters with the advertising and marketing of over $7 billion in filmed, live, broadcast, gaming, AR, VR and regulated gaming forms of entertainment, generating more than $100 Billion in revenue and 265 awards for creativity and technology for our clients. When I took a break from film school at UCLA to move to Hawaii, my mother did not lecture me. Instead, she took 150 of her favorite aphorisms and in her beautiful calligraphy, wrote them artistically throughout a blank journal. That is the origin of the Lessons from the Mountain series. Since then, on my journeys to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise, I have spent countless hours contemplating words of wisdom from the sages of all races, genders and political persuasions, constantly accumulating the thoughts to guide me on my life path. I hope you enjoy my books. Please let me know your thoughts, as I highly value your feedback!