Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
GEORGE ADDAIR
Strange how fear controls us.
It is the primal variable that drives the fight or flight syndrome.
It is the voice in our heads that vocalizes every last worry, trepidation, consternation and terror.
It is the voice that confines us, reduces us, disconnects us and leaves us as spoilage rather than victors.
And why is that?
Because the fear of what can possibly go wrong has been reinforced empirically since day one of our lives, and in most cases, it outweighs the positive reinforcement that prior successes have had. A negative lesson, like Hot, don’t touch! Is reinforced with pain when not heeded. A positive lesson is reinforced with praise, which feels amazing, but is it truly as powerful as the lessons punished by pain?
Probably not.
I discovered that being an entrepreneur was valuable at about 7 years old when my parents let me set up a lemonade stand in front of our home. In retrospect, it was kind neighbors who saw this kid trying to be an entrepreneur and stopped to sample my brew. They were all very kind and supportive, and I made a profit and all of that felt good. So when I learned how to make candles a couple years later, it was a natural progression for me to set up a booth in front of Safeway to try the same experience.
Every time I see a young child selling anything, regardless of whether I want it or not, I stop, and pay them double or triple their asking price, and do it with them making one promise…. When you get a chance later in life, I want you to stop and do this for another young child who is trying to follow this path. Pay it forward. They always smile and agree, and I hope my positive reinforcement helps them get past the fear that would normally tell them how wrong their idea is.
If you are looking to accomplish something of magnitude in your world, your fear is your single biggest obstacle. It is more likely to jump in and control you than you might imagine. Watch your mind the next time you happen to entertain a far out idea and detail the steps your mind will make to defeat the idea as problematic. It may well be that the idea is problematic. Many of them are. But some are genius, and your fear does not always allow for that. Your fear and self doubt could defeat the single greatest idea you have ever come up with, just because you are in the wrong mood.
I use the digital notepad on my iPhone for these moments. When that lighting strikes, I am recording it in writing for another frame of mind. Perhaps a judicious frame of mind to temper my wildest concepts and perhaps a more enthusiastic one, when I find that there is a chance that perhaps the last one was more genius, or more importantly, when that last one connects the dots with something else that I am doing, and suddenly, I see where and how they connect.
Fear can save your life.
It can also destroy it.
Find your filter deep inside to process fear and allow it to do its job to save you, but when you contemplate that it might be in a scenario where it is totally holding you back, just remember… Freedom comes from being at ease with the certainty of uncertainty.
Things will be uncertain. That is ok. Just believe in yourself and keep going with everything you’ve got.
Happy Tuesday!
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