I like clear intentions. Tell me how you feel. Spell out what you want. Be open. Be honest. Be transparent.

I like clear intentions. Tell me how you feel. Spell out what you want. Be open. Be honest. Be transparent.

I don’t have time to play guessing games regarding someone’s goal for me or how they feel about me. Respect me enough to keep it real, so I can make informed decisions.

How often do you find yourself pondering what another person’s intent truly is? Business or personal, it is all the same. It would be infinitely easier to just know right upfront what the parameters are. It eliminates wasted time, guessing, anticipating, expecting, desiring, hoping, projecting, and waiting.

People do not like absolutes. Most of us want a window of options on many topics right up until the moment of decision. Take something rudimentary like ordering at a restaurant. We have all been at that stage where several of the menu items could be what comes out of our mouth when finally asked by the serve staff what we intend to order. Sometimes the answer even surprises us when we speak it. And sometimes, we speak it, feel regret, retract it and go for one of the other options!

To the opposite end of the spectrum, comes personal or business relationships where the stakes are far higher. In those moments, we are making decisions that could potentially last a lifetime. Sometimes, we ourselves, are the ones who are still vacillating upon our myriad options, should they so exist. We feel pressure to have to make a firm choice and stand by it. And again, in many circumstances, we make that choice, regret it and work to overturn our previous choice.

On the receiving end of such procrastination, we are frustrated, agitated and irritated that the opposite party cannot be fully transparent about how they are feeling and clear about what they want to see happen going forward. In those moments, we feel trapped in the mind of another being, whose ultimate decision bears heavily upon our own business or personal life. In that scenario, we are like a deer in the headlights, paralyzed by the indecisive nature of another, and prisoner to their inability to find the strength, courage or determination to determine their proper choice on the topic and express it openly and without prejudice. 

I have found, the older I get, the more I genuinely gravitate towards people who make up their minds, act on their decisions, and manifest those into reality. I would much rather have a definite rejection than radio silence. In the moment of rejection, regardless of how it may make you feel, you are truly liberated. You may opt to counter their rejection with an alternate option, or you may realize that this scenario has played out, and it is time to focus on new opportunities. Either way, you are liberated from the “what if?” scenario.

Given that we are clear on how imprisoning it feels to be caught in another’s mist of confusing communication, wouldn’t it be polite and prudent of us to recognize when we are doing same to another, so that we may learn to clean up our own act a bit, and communicate to others with the same clarity we would appreciate in reciprocity? It’s clearly the polite thing to do, even if having to express your answer is difficult, you are still doing the other party a favor, rather than continuing to hold them in your orbit, even if you do not expect that to manifest to anything substantive.

Happy Tuesday!

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Written by Brian Weiner
When I was 5 years old, I discovered that the lemon tree in the backyard + dixie cups + water and sugar and I was in business. I have been hooked on that ever since. In 1979, I borrowed $14,000 to create a brand new product... photographic greeting cards with no text on the inside, called Paradise Photography. That was the start of The Illusion Factory. Since then, The Illusion Factory has been entrusted by all of the major studios and broadcasters with the advertising and marketing of over $7 billion in filmed, live, broadcast, gaming, AR, VR and regulated gaming forms of entertainment, generating more than $100 Billion in revenue and 265 awards for creativity and technology for our clients. When I took a break from film school at UCLA to move to Hawaii, my mother did not lecture me. Instead, she took 150 of her favorite aphorisms and in her beautiful calligraphy, wrote them artistically throughout a blank journal. That is the origin of the Lessons from the Mountain series. Since then, on my journeys to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise, I have spent countless hours contemplating words of wisdom from the sages of all races, genders and political persuasions, constantly accumulating the thoughts to guide me on my life path. I hope you enjoy my books. Please let me know your thoughts, as I highly value your feedback!