Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self respect, values, morals and self worth.
Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self respect, values, morals and self worth.
At face value, this aphorism seems obvious. Blatantly so.
Why then, is it so hard to master in practical day to day existence?
Many times, we may feel as if this lesson is so far in the rear view mirror that it is almost an imperceptible speck…. And then, out of nowhere, someone, or some thing or some circumstance or some company enters our world and we are instantly immersed in the same stupidity as we have believed was long since conquered.
I find in my own existence that I have grown better at this necessity. In key moments, I have learned that I am far less likely to engage, than I had been in prior occurrences. This may stem from enough life experiences wasted on interacting with another, only to finally drop it and discover vast amounts of useless emotions, energy and effort.
When we are finally on the other side of that metaphorical carnage, we are truly left with only the memory of the stupidity that it represented in our world and a loss on our balance sheet of the time, emotion, energy and effort required to have navigated the frustrating engagement with the other party.
In many cases, having the last word seems to be the draw to continue engaging. We communicate how we feel, and we have released our energy back into the equation and we are prepared to walk away, and suddenly… the other side responds. This is the impetus in which we are wiser to allow maturity to prevail. When the other side does respond. It is smarter and wiser for us to just drop it and let it go. But the nagging desire to communicate our continued (frustration, anger, disappointment or other) is so strong as to demand our attention and cause us to send one more communication. (Which, in most cases, causes the other side to respond again.) It is a vicious cycle.
What if, when we are at that tipping point, we chose to go completely silent? What if, at that critical moment, we opted to cease all communication and just walk away? Two things…. First, the other party might feel as if they prevailed and that we “caved” in to their position. And second, we would have to be comfortable that we would not have the last word.
Are those such a horrible combination of options? In the end, in most circumstances, we are going to finally get there any way. So, do we really best serve ourselves continuing a duel of frustration with an entity that does not warrant our time? Is getting the last word in, so important?
I believe that after we have experienced enough circumstances on par with what this aphorism is discussing, we are (hopefully) wise enough to see them for what they are and are more likely to empower ourselves to go silent and just let it go.
Most of the time, I am able to readily do this. And yet…. Every once in awhile, that one circumstance rises up and proves I am not as evolved as I would like to believe that I am.
Evolution is not permanent. We often relapse backwards, but hopefully we are able to more readily recognize that we have relapsed, and in that realization, find our footing quicker/faster and recover back to an evolved status so that we might best be on our way to a calm mental state again.
Happy Friday!
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