Not every “sorry” deserves an “it’s OK,” in return.
When is an apology insufficient to quell the issue?
All relationships, personal and professional, come with a price tag.
The price expended for such, is most usually measured in time.
Through the time we spend on any relationship, we are investing. The investment may be invested for numerous motivations, but at the end of the day, the more we expend towards something, the greater the expectation we have that it will pay off for us in countless ways.
While we are making such an investment, we come to expect certain rewards for that expenditure. Those rewards are equally diverse in their substance, but whether the rewards are apparent and obvious, or subtle and only we can explain them, they are the reason why we are willing to put forth our energy towards such.
What happens when we are making this investment and the reward is not forthcoming, as expected?
In some cases, that answer is so nebulous, as to defy a true definition. We make choices predicated upon what we believe are reasonable expectations. Sometimes those expectations are based on substantive facts, and other times, we are saddened to discover that we were completely offbase in our assessment of what we were hoping to receive. That is the nature of life.
In many cases, we have every reason to believe that someone will act in accord with our projected expectations of them. This may be based on accurate facts, direct assertions or promises made by them, upon which you may hope to rely.
It is a sad experience to awaken to the reality that they are not either willing or capable of performing as they may have stated. In that moment, we are left in a quiet zone of choice. Our choices may be to either understand the extenuating circumstances which have caused them to not act or behave as expected… or we may instead, have to come to the realization that they are either not willing or not capable of engaging with you as you might have hoped.
What then?
Here is the moment of soul searching. Predicated upon the myriad variables that may have caused that circumstance to transpire, we must dig within and decide whether it is excusable and forgivable, or it is not.
When we evaluate all aspects of our relationship dynamics with the other party, we must search our soul for an answer. In many cases, we brush it off and let it go.
But if the transgression is too far astray from that upon which we have relied, there unquestionably comes a time when we must own our feelings and respond in a manner that makes it clear that this breach of faith, confidence or promise was not acceptable.
When we come to that intersection, we are left with countless possible replies.
Make absolutely certain that the reply you opt to provide, is one that will deliver you the long term outcome you are most desirous of achieving, or your blurted out response may come back to haunt you for years to come.
Happy Sunday!
https://brianweiner.com
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