Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank your past for a better future.
Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank your past for a better future.
All of the adages about how we may learn from our prior mistakes do not make those mistakes any less painful. In many cases, as we are hearing them, they only inflame the feelings we are experiencing at the time and hearing that there may be a lesson waiting for us in the wings is never the right tonic to take at that moment in time.
That said, time passes.
And one day, that tonic that was so amazingly irritating at the moment of pain, fear or heartbreak, becomes a reality.
In this window of change arises our opportunity to discover deeper truths about our life, who we are and most importantly, whom we might become (should we opt to learn a lesson in those dark chapters of life).
Those experiences are almost inevitable in life. If we are out living our best and highest potential, we will encounter all of them (and more) along the way. As this happens, we are granted some of the greatest opportunities to open our internal sense of the way things might be and discover a chance to improve upon whom we are so that whom we are becoming is an even better iteration of ourselves.
The growth is not pleasant. Certainly not in the way that practicing something intensely for an extended period and discovering how much better at it we have become, is. In many cases, these forms of growth are excruciatingly painful, and take us into our darkest chapters.
We are truly resilient beings, capable of far more than we may ever imagine. We encounter so many variables in our path of life, and scurry between the ecstatic and pleasant variables like bees in a field of sumptuous blossoms. In those moments (the feast) we are content, and our perspectives may dull and our appreciation may decline out of overstimuli.
But in the darker chapter, those distractions are now removed, and we are face to face with grim circumstances and realities that weigh most heavily upon our soul and conscience, giving us pause for concentrating on what is truly valuable and important in our life. When we are thrown into these moments, we are right in that space where we really do not want a lesson, we just want whatever is impeding our joy to dissipate, so that we may return to a happy and blissful existence.
Rumi says: The wound is the place where the light enters you.
Sometimes it takes having all of our joyous distractions removed, in order that we might awaken to harsh lessons that we desperately need to learn. In those moments, if we are calm enough to recognize that when we lose, we should not lose the lesson, then we are growing. Just as when we practice something difficult and discover our improvement.
It is never pleasant to grow in this regard, but it is more unpleasant to continue to repeat the same errors and suffer the same pain on a continuing basis. If we opt for this program, we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of pain, fear and heartbreak.
So the next time you are in one of these circumstances and you encounter one of these adages, I would invite you to remember, that in the practice of reading and embracing some of the wisdom of the ages, you are honestly setting yourself up for a richer and more fulfilling life. One that will bring you incredible rewards. And if these adages only annoy you and seem like new age B.S., then you have not come to the pain threshold that will give you cause to evolve.
Happy Friday!
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