Relationships are like birds, if you hold tightly, they die. If you hold loosely, they fly. But if you hold with care, they remain with you forever.

Relationships are like birds, if you hold tightly, they die. If you hold loosely, they fly. But if you hold with care, they remain with you forever.

Whether personal or professional, it is always the same parameters. 

People, being what they are, want quality over quantity. 

In business, we can become so protective about everything we have, that when a relationship feels as if there could be a fissure that could slowly evolve into a crack, we react with a knee jerk reaction, trying to close that fissure instantly.

But is that always the proper chess move?

A person’s livelihood depends on their business relationships and they are quickly prone to constrain every aspect of that dynamic, so as to preclude competition from entering, and to maintain those relationships for all that they are worth. And right there is the problem. The recipient is subject to the psychological reactions that this person will use to constrain that relationship. In the course of how that person opts to conduct themselves, the person may accidentally offend the party with whom they are doing business and destroy the relationship in the process. In some cases, this offense can come from a party that is trying to be omnipresent, and as such, is creating a disconnect between them and their business partner from overexposure.

In other cases, that may stem from trying to be too controlling in a business dynamic, or creating terms that would appear from one side to be most favorable but to the other side, may appear to be too restricting.

Sometimes penalties are put into business relationships to preclude the other party from making some choices that will cause the opposite party damage. They can come in the form of time constraints, budget constraints, material or concept constraints and so on. While each of these may well be important and necessary in certain business dynamics, I would postulate that a lot of these elements are akin to the concept of a prenuptial contract at the outset of a wedding. These variables may well be required, but there is no denying that as soon as each of these constraints are raised, they create the seeds of dissatisfaction in the relationship. 

Whether personal or professional, a relationship is a delicate balance of many variables. Talent, personality, price, proximity, quality, service and many other details all come into consideration. When we are quick to constrain something from a fear of loss (far in advance of such a loss even being probable) we are more likely to initiate the exact variables that are potentially going to create the loss in the future.

I have written hundreds of contracts over time. They are wise to create because they memorialize the essence of what both parties are agreeing to do. But in the course of creating such contracts, it is equally wise to know that if you cannot just give someone your word and stand by it, then the essence of what made that relationship work in the first place, is already on its way to peril. 

Relationships, both personal and professional require delicate attention. They must be backed by integrity, honor, trust and competence on all fronts. When these conditions are met on both sides, then you have something of merit that is likely to stand the test of time.

Happy Monday!

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Written by Brian Weiner
When I was 5 years old, I discovered that the lemon tree in the backyard + dixie cups + water and sugar and I was in business. I have been hooked on that ever since. In 1979, I borrowed $14,000 to create a brand new product... photographic greeting cards with no text on the inside, called Paradise Photography. That was the start of The Illusion Factory. Since then, The Illusion Factory has been entrusted by all of the major studios and broadcasters with the advertising and marketing of over $7 billion in filmed, live, broadcast, gaming, AR, VR and regulated gaming forms of entertainment, generating more than $100 Billion in revenue and 265 awards for creativity and technology for our clients. When I took a break from film school at UCLA to move to Hawaii, my mother did not lecture me. Instead, she took 150 of her favorite aphorisms and in her beautiful calligraphy, wrote them artistically throughout a blank journal. That is the origin of the Lessons from the Mountain series. Since then, on my journeys to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise, I have spent countless hours contemplating words of wisdom from the sages of all races, genders and political persuasions, constantly accumulating the thoughts to guide me on my life path. I hope you enjoy my books. Please let me know your thoughts, as I highly value your feedback!