Some people do not want to see you rise simply because they are afraid of the power they lose as you gain your freedom.
Some people do not want to see you rise simply because they are afraid of the power they lose as you gain your freedom.
We have all felt this from another in the course of our lives…especially in our professional chapters of life.
There are simply those who cannot find the peace of mind in which to genuinely wish the very best in life for others. It may stem from many variables that have transpired or are transpiring in their world. As a result, when it comes time for them to express pleasure, approval, happiness or genuine well wishes for another in the time of their success, they are simply lacking the guidance, training, understanding or ability to simply look outwards at the other, rather than inwards at themselves.
The two Tzu’s commented to others about this too. (*I enjoyed writing that!)
Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.
Sun Tzu
When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Lao Tzu
It is accurate that the ability to find joy in another’s success must inevitably stem from being very comfortable in being yourself. When you feel that internal joy and satisfaction in being whom you are, there can only be joy in watching everyone else around you succeed. And, as their friend, relative, colleague, lover, employee, employer, student, teacher, coach or mentor, is it not a great joy to share in the prosperity of others? If you divorce yourself, your own personal judgement, your own disappointments, fears and expectations from the equation, is it not a wonderful thing to see another accelerate into that which makes them most happy?
Today’s aphorism takes this one step further with the expression that it is the power that they are losing in another’s rise to stardom that leaves them wanting. This power dynamic is a variable that comes in many shades. It can be a small agent that helped a person get their substantial first opportunities and then loses the relationship when that person succeeds and is desirous of new representation. Or a partner in a relationship that is feeling less important in the life of their partner as that partner accelerates into ever greater chapters. Or a teacher who had high hopes for their own career, but instead watches their student’s meteoric rise over their own accomplishments and feels shallow in the wake of the student’s success… and other scenarios.
If you are the person succeeding and another is making you feel disappointed in your own success because they are afflicted with one of these issues, you have many options at your disposal. Your greatest option is to recognize how or why they are behaving as they do, and (at a minimum) compartmentalize your own reaction to their expressed behaviors. The more you are desirous of solving their issue, the more you are weighing yourself down on your rise to success. Far better to understand what they might be feeling, and to see it for what it is, but never to allow it to overshadow how you are feeling about your achieving that which you have set your mind to accomplish.
Happy Saturday!
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