Sometimes you just have to quit trying to help those who are set in their ways.
We all have someone in our world who is so entirely fixated in their ways as to make any external observation rendered useless upon receipt.
Even if the observation is as plain as day, their reality is what it is and nothing is going to change that.
Being a good friend in someone’s life requires a delicate balance between companionship, friendship and intelligent observation.
That said, there are many times when we are not desirous of hearing what a good friend wants us to hear. I certainly have been guilty of this many times.
We are more than willing to put up any defense we may, rather than acquiescing to the fact that perhaps our close friend has a valid point.
Denial, party of one, please? Denial?
I found myself doing this again today. And I thought of the above aphorism that comes from my mom and decided to make it into my musing for the morning. I found myself more than willing to give advice that I, myself, was not following. How smart is that?
When you are on the side of giving the advice and the friend is steadfast and determined not to hear you, and you love them, it is a painful realization that the best you can do in that moment is to concede and allow them to be them.
This is not as easy a task as it might be. When the person is a relative or specifically your child, there is even more impetus on your end to intercede and share all of the wisdom that you may in that moment. The giant realization as a parent, is that as your child gets older, they really want to make all of the choices themselves. Same as you do. And when you get to that realization, it is that much more self-discipline that you must employ in order to maintain a good relationship, in spite of their lack of desire to follow your suggestions.
In this highly divisive moment in history, there is such a dual reality that is taking place that you can easily see how someone who is living on Earth 2 can be completely misguided by the facts that they feel they are following.
If you take something as life or death as the vaccine, for example, all of us have big question marks as to what is real and what is conjecture or wishful thinking on the part of big Pharma. But, when you encounter someone who is clearly spewing illogical rhetoric based on conspiracy theories they are reading online or the extreme right wing news outlet that they are relying on for their dose of supposed reality, there is not much that can be said anymore. They are becoming so steadfast in their ways as to negate any valid outside perspective.
At that point, I would need to defer any further efforts because, as my mother has shared, sometimes you just have to give up and leave it alone.
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