Somewhere, somehow somebody Must have kicked you around some
Somewhere, somehow somebody
Must have kicked you around some
Tell me why you want to lay there
Revel in your abandon
Honey, it don’t make no difference to me baby
Everybody’s had to fight to be free
You see you don’t have to live like a refugee (don’t have to live like a refugee)
Now baby you don’t have to live like a refugee (don’t have to live like a refugee) No
Have you been kicked around some?
We all have.
Yup, that too.
So what is it that makes some of us resilient and others, more prone to revel in the abandonment?
The older I get, the more I see different forms of this abandonment manifest in the lives of my friends. Some come in the form of parental abandonment, others from a spouse or lover. And others are feeling it from an employer or partner in work.
The truth is that being abandoned is excruciatingly painful. It takes time to process how and why this may have happened and to own any part of why this happened that may fall upon the laps of those who are going through it. That said, it can happen without any fault to those of us who are being abandoned without any fault of our own. Especially in the case of parental abandonment.
When it happens, we are left standing on our own two feet, trying to remain standing, while feeling like all of the air has been instantly knocked out of our chest, and we are gasping for air. It is a horrible place to find oneself.
Strength stems from belief. Usually a belief in oneself. Failing that, many have found strength in believing in a religious leader who helps them to prop up their fear and disappointment and find the path back to self sufficiency.
I use the words of others to find my internal compass and to enable me to right my path and get back on the course of my life. This does not work for everyone, but it sure seems to work for me. One of my go to experiences is to think of Winston Churchill who suffered from extreme depression, walking the streets of a bombed London and finding the courage to continue their battle against Hitler when everything looked so bleak. Seeing his courage and his tremendous presence always seems to put my much smaller problems into perspective and give me a toehold into moving towards a more palatable future. I also lost a friend to MS a few decades ago. Watching her physical condition worsen was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. When my situations feel too hard to bear, I flash back on her and realize that I would take my problems, right here, and right now, over having to weather what she was enduring.
Life is truly for the living. We are granted a short stay in this 3 Dimensional planet. Every day of that experience must never be taken for granted. It must be treasured, and most importantly, lived.
So on the days where you feel like the world is abandoning you in one form or another, your options are always open to comparative considerations and allowing you to feel the intense gratitude for the reality you have over the ones that others have endured. You can dig deep within, find the strength to get back up on your feet and not let the overwhelming factors of life disable your ability to be you. Because you are truly a special human being, and your self worth is only determined by you. No one else can add value to your self worth. It must always stem from within. So by that perspective, no one else can take away one iota of your self worth, unless you empower them to do so.
And in conclusion, why would you EVER allow anyone to determine your value, your frame of reference, your sense of self? You and you alone hold that power, and you have the right to control that for your entire lifetime.
If someone abandons you, they have done you a favor. It may not feel like it at that moment, but deep inside, if they were ready to leave, then let them go. They just do not deserve you. You are far too valuable to ever allow another to determine anything less than what you know you are truly made of. Just take the perspective of “their loss, not mine,” and keep walking forward with everything you’ve got.