Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, then let them be. Happiness is not a choice. Life is not about pleasing everyone.
You can make your life a living hell trying to please everyone in it. That’s a simple fact.
I do not think this means that you should stop trying to please many people in your life. In fact, doing so brings great joy on countless fronts.
So what’s the difference?
The catch is in the absolute… “everyone.” It just does not work. Regardless of how much effort you may expend, no matter how considerate you are, and independent of how much you study your crowd and work to ensure complete inclusivity..it still does not work.
Abraham Lincoln proved the opposite in stating, “Judge Douglas cannot fool the people: you may fool people for a time; you can fool a part of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all the people all the time.”
So if you cannot please everyone, nor fool everyone…. Then perhaps the greater lesson is…. Who cares?
If you have found your path in life, and you are not harming or hurting others, then ultimately, who cares if everyone around you approves? Does that really matter?
Why are we so interested in seeking acceptance and approval of others? Does it stem from wanting/needing to please our parents and family members? Or is it a result of our training in school in which we must please an instructor in order that we garner their praise and approval?
Do we bask in the warmth stemming from others viewing us and seeing what “they” like?
There are so many sad people walking planet Earth. Many of them are sad because they want so desperately to fit in. Yet, deep inside, they know they are more of an outcast than one who is trending “normal.” But who decides if you are an outcast?
True freedom arrives on the day you wake up and stop giving a fuck. Seriously.
If they do not like what you wear, who cares?
If your sexual orientation offends them, what business is it of theirs?
If your politics do not match, does that necessarily make you a bad person?
If your opinion and belief system about how and why we are here on planet Earth does not correlate to their religion, are you suddenly to be shamed or persecuted?
If you are a cat person and they love dogs, should you feel bad about your preference?
The answer to these and all similar questions is a resounding…. No way!
I have bridged countless relationships with people who are incredibly disparate from me. Across the spectrum of differences, ideologies, politics, religions, sexual orientations and nationalities.
The one thing I have learned from every last one of them is…. The more I am around them, the more I learn. I learn about things that I like, and things I do not. I learn about things I have not considered, and grow in my capacity for compassion and understanding. I learn how they can feel ostracized for no fault of their own. It makes me reflect on how my ancestors fled such hatred and humiliation.
If you are around someone who is not tolerating you, you must make some choices. It should start with a prime question that you must be very clear about…. What part of you is causing them not to tolerate you? If the answer to this question is something in which they have a valid complaint, such as you are prone to using put down humor (as I used to do as a young teen) then you had damn well better face the music and realize that you are the one who has to change, because their complaint is valid. But if their claim is not valid because they are displeased in your choice of religion, or sexual orientation or something that is personal and NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, then you have every right to walk tall, and live your life as you please, regardless of their disapproval.
You get one life on this 3D playground as the being you are. If you are not making every day count to your benefit, then you are making an ill-informed choice and you need to wake up and grow past it.
Life is truly a banquet of experiences, and if you are not feasting daily, you are missing the biggest experience of them all.