The truth is not always beautiful. Nor beautiful words the truth.
Do you want to hear what you want to hear, or do you want the truth?
Life can be so harsh at times as to make the truth almost unbearable. So it is no wonder that we are often willing to do anything except to face the grim reality, whatever that might be. We find countless ways to delude ourselves. We can start with procrastination. This subtle, yet highly useful tool, enables us to avoid acting on a truth that we know to be certain. We find this with all of those “I have to change my life moments of truth.” Which is (in most cases) followed by a vow that states “I will *quit smoking, start working out, diet, quit drinking or drugs…. Tomorrow.
The same bears true in relationships. There are many truths in a personal relationship. Your truth and their truth are not the same. Even if they appear on the outside to be common truths, if you dig deep enough you discover that they differ… probably more than either party might imagine. Thomas Merton said, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” The more we try to change a person with whom we are having a relationship, the more we are deluding ourselves that we are in the relationship with the person we wish to be with.” If you have had a relationship, you know from experience, that the prospect of changing the other person is a nonstarter.
We gain strength when we stop and stare truth in the face.
Do you want to hear the truth or do you want to hear what you want to hear? So many of us can be easily seduced with beautiful words. When the proper person or entity is telling us what we want to hear, we are far more likely to bend rules, adjust our boundaries and other subtle moves of letting down our guard. Sociopaths are really adept at this skill. I have found myself vulnerable to a couple of them over time. As soon as someone promises you a chance to fulfill your deepest ambition, that is the moment to take 10x protection that what you are hearing is verifiable truth.
Advertising uses false truths all the time. They make promises that are near impossible to achieve. The visuals are sometimes so afar from the reality as to leave all of us wondering how or why they expect it to work. Except it does work. Walk into any fast food franchise and look at the pictures on the menu board. Compare that with what you are served. Almost without exception the two bear little resemblance to one another.
The truth can be harsh at times. It is a cold reality that must be faced and ultimately dealt with. So the sooner we are able to take action and recognize the truth for what it really is, the sooner we are able to transcend that moment into one of greater stability and personal power.