The truth is not always beautiful. Nor beautiful words the truth.

LAO TZU

Do you want to hear what you want to hear, or do you want the truth?

Life can be so harsh at times as to make the truth almost unbearable. So it is no wonder that we are often willing to do anything except to face the grim reality, whatever that might be. We find countless ways to delude ourselves. We can start with procrastination. This subtle, yet highly useful tool, enables us to avoid acting on a truth that we know to be certain. We find this with all of those “I have to change my life moments of truth.” Which is (in most cases) followed by a vow that states “I will *quit smoking, start working out, diet, quit drinking or drugs…. Tomorrow. 

The same bears true in relationships. There are many truths in a personal relationship. Your truth and their truth are not the same. Even if they appear on the outside to be common truths, if you dig deep enough you discover that they differ… probably more than either party might imagine. Thomas Merton said, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” The more we try to change a person with whom we are having a relationship, the more we are deluding ourselves that we are in the relationship with the person we wish to be with.” If you have had a relationship, you know from experience, that the prospect of changing the other person is a nonstarter.

We gain strength when we stop and stare truth in the face. 

Do you want to hear the truth or do you want to hear what you want to hear? So many of us can be easily seduced with beautiful words. When the proper person or entity is telling us what we want to hear, we are far more likely to bend rules, adjust our boundaries and other subtle moves of letting down our guard. Sociopaths are really adept at this skill. I have found myself vulnerable to a couple of them over time. As soon as someone promises you a chance to fulfill your deepest ambition, that is the moment to take 10x protection that what you are hearing is verifiable truth. 

Advertising uses false truths all the time. They make promises that are near impossible to achieve. The visuals are sometimes so afar from the reality as to leave all of us wondering how or why they expect it to work. Except it does work. Walk into any fast food franchise and look at the pictures on the menu board. Compare that with what you are served. Almost without exception the two bear little resemblance to one another. 

The truth can be harsh at times. It is a cold reality that must be faced and ultimately dealt with. So the sooner we are able to take action and recognize the truth for what it really is, the sooner we are able to transcend that moment into one of greater stability and personal power.

Happy Friday!

It’s either your left or right foot. 

There can be none other.

Taking it is the hardest thing in the world for some. The cause of countless trepidation, anxiety, depression, and fear. 

It leaves some debilitated and incapable of moving, frozen in their safety zone with all of the imagined dangers looming in their minds.

But the truth is, it is just one step. You can take many of them. Some will lead further than others. Others will undoubtedly hit a dead end.

It really doesn’t matter. Some dead ends are merely yet another lesson along a much larger journey that has yet to be defined.

Yesterday, The Illusion Factory turned 43 years old. It was the anniversary of my opening a bank account, and going to the city of Van Nuys to apply for a business license. I was 19, and invincible. I knew for certain what I was, what I was going to do, how I would do it and where I was going. 

None of the above was remotely accurate. But at the time, it was the first step. It was a bold move. It empowered me to believe I could own a real business beyond those I had done as a kid without governmental reporting, etc.

Yesterday I spent a giant chunk of my day reviewing decades of work, trying to build the next Illusion Factory promotion reel to show off who we are and what we are doing. It was like watching my life pass before me. Countless memories of clients, employees, friends, experiences, fears, stress, drama, disappointments, exhilarations, trepidations and so much more…..

Then, as my friend Lynn suggested, I started listening to the 3 Minute Rule and made a list of 41 bullet points that are the ultimate distillation of what The Illusion Factory currently is. Almost none of it was part of my first step.  The anniversary day was coming to a quiet close for me and a late night call with a new business colleague illuminated the potential of something so vast, and incredibly disparate from what that first step had prognosticated, as to make my perspective on the first step really stand out in my mind and give cause for use of today’s aphorism. 

I was starting by creating the world’s first blank photographic note cards. When, 43 years later, Sizzle grows into one tenth of the models that are starting to come to life around me, then it will have well been worth the journey.

I was positive I knew where I was walking at age 19. At age 62, none of it was what I had expected. The only consistent variable in all of the journey was a devout belief in myself and more important, in my team of friends and collaborators. Our collective vision has propelled us through dangerous waters, and delivered us to shores unforeseen.

If you have a dream, be bold and pursue it. Take that first step. You genuinely will have no idea where that may take you, but if you believe in yourself above all else… wherever you go, it will be the journey of a lifetime.

Happy Thursday!

Who are you?

When you ask that question in the silence, with an open heart to listen to your own response to the question, you might be surprised by the answers that come up.

The obvious answers arise. They stem from identity and identity often starts with ego. So as you ask the question, you would normally get a string of predictable answers. The ones you share socially on introduction on either a personal or professional basis. 

But this is just an internal dialogue, so let’s put those answers on a side burner for a moment and come back with something a bit more profound. Ask yourself some stimulating questions that are more personality centric, or belief centric, or philosophical in their approach. This time, the responses are a bit more profound.

Take a few minutes and sit with those responses. Then try a few of them and ask yourself: Why you are like this? Contemplate what your mind conjures for those answers, because at this stage of an internal dive you are getting to more of the reality of who you are than the superficial answers that came up at the top of the exercise.  Maybe go one step deeper and ask yourself if your upbringing were substantially different, would you still be the person you are today? If your parents came from an alternative economic bracket, or you were a different race or religion or grew up in another part of the planet, who would you be at this stage of your life?

I believe that as we go deeper into those personality-forming questions and we are honest with ourselves, we will discover that we are not as carved in stone as we might like to believe. Our consciousness is our being. In our consciousness we are prone to see the world through filters that have been stacked atop one another by virtue of some of the characteristics that I listed above. Those characteristics cannot help but shape our being and point us on a life path that reflects some of those options in who we become as a result.

So, in Lao Tzu’s statement…. The option of letting go of who we are, enables us to become what we might be. If we are imprisoned by some of what we are, then our choice of potentially allowing that to dissipate on a gradual basis empowers us to branch out and grow ever further into the being we truly wish to become. This is true in personality traits, life perspectives, and so much more.  

A brief example in my world that is small, but actually quite large. I love to express myself. That sounds positive. BUT… when I am feeling negative about something, I readily express that as well. Sometimes, that expression comes from a smart place and needs to be expressed, but it plays out in reverse as well. Sometimes that expression comes from a place of anger, frustration, resentment, or other uncalled for emotional response and the thoughts should not be expressed at all. All the training I have put myself through so that I am adept at expressing what I am thinking needs to be shut off instantly, and the best thing in the world for me at that moment is to just shut my mouth.

A simple detail like this has the ability to be life-changing in my world. Learning to control that is part of me becoming what I might be.  I bet if you go into the silence and try the exercise above, you will find one of your critical personality flaws as I have. Whether you have the strength to see it for what it is, and to evolve into whom you wish to become is entirely at your option.

You only have to let go of who you are, long enough to evolve into what you might become.

Happy Friday!

If you like what you are reading in the blog, you will even love the book more. Take a free preview below and watch the Sizzle Reel. It will give you a sense of how this book might be of help in your life when you are looking to make some tough decisions.

Specially priced at $11.11 for those who are tuned in.

If you like what you are reading in the blog, you will even love the book more. Take a free preview below and watch the Sizzle Reel. It will give you a sense of how this book might be of help in your life when you are looking to make some tough decisions.

Changing the world…One thought at a time.

This book is written for you. Whether you are just embarking on your journey in life, or if you are a seasoned veteran, we all have so much more to learn. Lessons from the Mountain is a conversational exploration of countless topics of personal and professional self help.

Mr. Weiner has collected a diverse assortment of thoughts from the great sages of the last two millennia, each sparking personalized discussions, intended to stimulate you into deeper contemplation of the subjects that intrigue you.

Leveraging his experiences in building The Illusion Factory and then, Sizzle, Mr. Weiner reflects on numerous moments of engagement that are relevant to all of us as we navigate our path in life.

In this zen entrepreneurial discussion, the myriad topics range from:

• Narrowing choices to increase opportunity

• Assuaging a hurt ego

• Managing the depression that comes with a failure

• Learning to continuously improve

• Owning your mistakes

• Increasing your likelihood for success

• Making ethical choices

• Pursuing seemingly impossible goals

• Coping with a loss

• Making unpopular decisions

• Communicating with compassion

• Learning to collaborate with others more skilled than you

• Accepting your reality, while working to change it

• Stopping bullies in their tracks

• Letting go of anger

• Deepening self-respect

• Understanding love

• Making the planet a better place

• Taking giant risks and succeeding

• The elusive pursuit of happiness

• The art of honesty and friendship

• Following your heart

• Overcoming PTSD

• Learning when to become impartial

• Questioning reality

• The probability of UFOs

• Attracting positive outcomes

• The benefits of being a zen entrepreneur

and many other interesting topics of exploration.

The book has been written over a couple of years of climbing a mountain in the darkness in order to be atop for the sunrise. Photos from those journeys accompany the beautifully illustrated aphorisms, whose content spark each of the philosophical discussions.

Of all of the great philosophers, Lao Tzu would be on the top of my list of those I would most enjoy talking with. His philosophy has helped craft some of the deepest, most rooted components of my belief system.

When we consider love, as humans, we are quick to humanize the emotion and relegate it to our species. But in actuality, love is everywhere in the animal kingdom. We see it in countless gorgeous photos and videos of animals in both male and female sense of the word, as well as in mother child and father child relationships. We see it when animals of unlikely pairings become dear friends as little ones and become inseparable like that lion, bear and tiger who were buddies for life.

We see it in how our pets adore us and how we adore them. Every time I see one of my friends bidding farewell to an animal that has aged out, I am caused to relieve the euthanasia of my last dog and how much it broke my heart. It has been over 3 years now, and I have not found the strength yet to bond with another animal and start the process all over again.

Love drives us to achieve. Love drives us to perform. Love is not relegated to a relationship between a human and another living being relationship. Sometimes it is a passion for an art, a sport, a science, or any other devout form of personal dedication that causes us to be. To live. To experience the deepest joys that our souls may conjure. To grow into becoming who we are destined to be.

Sometimes the word, Love, is overused to the point of meaninglessness. But on the occasions where it truly describes the intense, devout, relentless feeling that consumes our entire being and drives us in inexplicable ways, then that is the love that Lao Tzu wrote about in this aphorism. It is a truly magical, indescribable experience that once bitten, we are very hard-pressed to ever lose sight of. 

The metaphysical side of me has tried on many an occasion to understand what love is. It is an emotion and a feeling and an attraction and a bond and a motivational force. That is how it is able to simultaneously attack the head, heart and senses. But it is entirely intangible. Nondescript. Transient at times. It can be present at one moment in your life and gone in another moment. How is that? What actually happens in physical terms? How do we lose something that never existed in a physical, descriptive sense?

I do not think there are answers to the deeper questions. For those, you might have to ask the dog who sits grieving on the grave of its newly buried master. Or explain the tears that come when you reflect on the loss of a love.

It is one of life’s most powerful forces. One that perhaps we will never truly understand, but one that drives so many of our life experiences into greatness.

Not being religious, I asked a man (who became one of my dearest friends after this first dinner in which we were introduced…. ).  “Salim, if you eliminate the triple O in the definition of God (Omnipowerful, Omnipresent and Omniscient) what is God?  He blinked once and said, without pause, “God is the love and light that is in all of us.”  To this day, that definition has stood for me as a greater understanding of life, of people, of our relationship with all living things and our planet.

Love is truly a miraculous force. Never to be trivialized.

Happy Saturday!

CODA: I sent this to Salim prior to publishing. His response… LOVE – What a word. It is the driving force in all of us humans. It makes us do things which appear almost impossible. It is like food but satiates the heart, mind and soul. It guarantees to transport one to heights almost unattainable in normal circumstances. It opens  up a degree of passion not to be seen in anything.  It makes one laugh and cry at the same time. It brings a lot of happiness and a lot of sadness. It brings vindictiveness, jealousy and arrogance. It makes one fill up with pride when one has true love and makes one bitter if loved and lost. It makes one possessive in a way that one would not be with anything in life and to ensure togetherness eternally one would go to the very end of one’s Patience, Faith and senses to continue. I am one who believes in all that I have mentioned because it has happened to me and I am truly very happy because I consider this final relationship as ideal. Wouldn’t want anyone else even if I lose out because no one would come even near to give such happiness.

Every person goes through highs and lows over the course of their lifetime. Changes are just what is in life. In Asian cultures they call this “the isness of things.” Things are neither good nor bad, they just are.

Whereas in western cultures we are trained to see things as fitting somewhere inbetween a continuum of opposites. Something is either tall or short. Good or bad. Happy or sad.

Lao Tzu remains one of my most favorite philosophers and when I came upon this particular quotation I had my doubts. I am a firm believer in being the master of my own destiny. I don’t like to leave anything open to the proverbial “what if?” I would much rather plan, stay in control and assure my results.

Sadly there are so many things that are way outside of my control, life has proven to me time and time again that regardless of all the planning, all of my dedicated efforts, everything is still completely fallible. Life changes.

Witness all of the plans that I had in December 2019 for what I thought 2020 was going to be.

If going through COVID-19 (and it really should be called COVID-20, shouldn’t it?) teaches us anything at all, it is that the best laid plans of mice and men are entirely fallible in the face of something larger than life. This clearly gives meaning to the statement that hindsight is 2020.

My takeaway in coming back to this particular quotation is the recognition that happiness is a transient variable predicated upon frame of mind. In the past, I have sent you quotations from Viktor Frankl, who endured the horrific atrocities of the Nazi concentration camp and emerged a wiser and more centered person. As you read his book you come to recognize that this was all frame of mind and that frame of mind remains supreme.

Life is certainly going to take its own course, no different than the flow of the river or the tides of the ocean, but when we are capable of seeing and interpreting those forces, it becomes incumbent upon all of us to restructure our thought processes and emerge stronger and wiser for the elasticity required to surf the tides of change.

There are forces that are much larger than anything within our control, accepting those as a foregone conclusion, and allowing yourself the strength to evolve in the face of each one of the changes, strikes me as the best strategy anyone can potentially adopt. Wishing you a very successful Wednesday!?

QUESTION OF THE DAY: How has life created necessary changes in your experiences?

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Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them-that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow forward naturally in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu