June 9, 2023 by Brian Weiner No CommentsChanging The World One Thought At A Time., Lessons From The Mountain

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of buffering.

H. F. AMIEL

How often are you willing to buffer a situation, rather than reacting instantaneously?

There are so many moments in life, where that extra bit of waiting lasts substantially longer than we might expect, yet in that waiting, tremendous magic takes place.

How is it that the silence is so powerful?

Is there something particularly distinct about silence?

The answer is, of course there is. In the silence, the other party has opportunity to formulate thought and contemplate variables. It does not matter whether you are in the middle of a negotiation for a contract or you are trying to resolve a disagreement or whether you are trying to woo your potential spouse, the waiting carries much more gravitas than might be initially projected.

When we are focused on an objective, we are prone to push until we achieve our objective. But in the end, the objective is often times, much more readily achievable without any of the pushing, and certainly by allowing more time to pass.

What we discover about the silence is that there is absolutely something that is gestating in that window of time. Hence the term, pregnant silence.

For the longer that the silence sustains, the more whatever is growing in that silence matures. There are times where the best move you can possibly make, is no move whatsoever. In that inauspicious moment of doing nothing, you leave the other party projecting, contemplating, anticipating all of the respective things that they might be anticipating you are thinking, or you are willing to do.

In your silence, you have not resolved in their mind any of the projected variables that they are thinking through, therefore, your silence prolongs the opportunity for the other party to find their way towards the position you are hoping they will adopt. Conversely, if you wait too long, you may well blow the opportunity. Timing is key.

When you are mad, hold your temper, and most importantly, hold your tongue, for once you have spoken or texted or revealed in any way, shape or form, how you are truly feeling, your advantage in allowing the other party to project what they might be thinking you are feeling, dissipates and is gone forever.

Happy Friday!

https://brianweiner.com

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#communicationskills #communicationskillstraining

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H. F. AMIEL

Written by Brian Weiner

When I was 5 years old, I discovered that the lemon tree in the backyard + dixie cups + water and sugar and I was in business. I have been hooked on that ever since. In 1979, I borrowed $14,000 to create a brand new product... photographic greeting cards with no text on the inside, called Paradise Photography. That was the start of The Illusion Factory. Since then, The Illusion Factory has been entrusted by all of the major studios and broadcasters with the advertising and marketing of over $7 billion in filmed, live, broadcast, gaming, AR, VR and regulated gaming forms of entertainment, generating more than $100 Billion in revenue and 265 awards for creativity and technology for our clients. When I took a break from film school at UCLA to move to Hawaii, my mother did not lecture me. Instead, she took 150 of her favorite aphorisms and in her beautiful calligraphy, wrote them artistically throughout a blank journal. That is the origin of the Lessons from the Mountain series. Since then, on my journeys to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise, I have spent countless hours contemplating words of wisdom from the sages of all races, genders and political persuasions, constantly accumulating the thoughts to guide me on my life path. I hope you enjoy my books. Please let me know your thoughts, as I highly value your feedback!