Never explain yourself to anyone, because the person who likes you doesn’t need it. And the person who doesn’t like you won’t believe it.

Have you ever tried to explain yourself, only to be met with disbelief and suspicion? 

The whole prospect of trying to explain a circumstance, or a misunderstanding, is fraught with all sorts of underlying variables that make whatever it is that you are trying to communicate, subject to other people’s perspectives, disbelief, and lack of understanding.

When you find yourself in a situation like this, are you better served continuously trying to seek the understanding and acknowledgment of the third-party, or at a certain point, are you better served, to recognize that it’s not going to be understood or misperceived anyway, and just let it go?

These are the variables that kick around inside of our mind as we try to extricate ourselves from someone else’s misunderstanding of anything that we have said or done.

There’s certainly is a possibility of success in the course of trying to explain a situation, action, or statement, but in the end, there’s always going to be some cadence in the equation that you yourself are not creating, and are therefore continually trying to operate against, in the course of your trying to set the record straight. 

Clear communication is one of the most important tools that any human being may ever employ. Through that communication, a person is able to transform the minds of others into a repository of all sorts of potential information, experiences or opportunities that they may be desirous of hearing. In the art of intelligent communication, there is presumably less likelihood of a third-party walking away, scratching their head confused by whatever it is that you have just explained.

Far better for us to recognize that our bidirectional communication with others is imperative to our overall success and leverage every resource at our disposal to hone these skills, thereby, ensuring greater likelihood of opportunities coming to fruition.

Happy Saturday!

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We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

WINSTON CHURCHILL

When is something worth fighting for to the death?

I suppose the answer to this would start with a definition of “death.” Death could be the death of the individual or it could be the death of an institution, corporation, government or political ideology.

At some point, certain categories escalate themselves all the way up to that magnitude.

Ask any parent, whether under the most horrific of circumstances, they would be willing to fight to the death, to keep their children alive, and I would be willing to bet that a majority of parents would unquestionably answer yes.

In business, it is slightly different, but the stakes are almost equally intense. If you are in business, and you facing a potential loss of everything that you have worked for, Winston Churchill‘s epic speech could not be more poignant. You recognize that you have put every last ounce of energy into accomplishing something of magnitude and you are looking at every last possible opportunity to ensure its success.

Churchill was a renowned depressive individual who had to summon all of the last courage he and his country could muster in order to defeat Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. In his epic call to action, he precisely crafted the perfect speech, such that anyone who heard, recognized the massive tenacity and determination behind it.

If you find yourself in a down moment with your personal life or your professional life, I would invite you to take a few moments to really contemplate the position this man was in when he delivered the speech, and dig deep within and recognize that you might find a greater dose of courage than you might have originally expected you held within.

General George S. Patton summarized it best… “Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man. All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are, the more they are frightened. The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That’s the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!”

Balance this with a more zen perspective from Thich Nhat Hanh, “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”

Be brave, at all costs!

Happy Friday!

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Arguing with stupid people is like trying to kill the mosquito on your cheek. You may or may not kill it, but you will slap yourself.

How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you are arguing a topic that is pointless, with another party?

No matter how many times we reprimand ourselves from having done this in the past, we inevitably find ourselves once again, doing the same pointless task. 

When does it become ingrained within us to recognize that we are not going to be able to prevail, and that our best move is to acquiesce and bow out of the conversation? 

To find ourselves continually bantering words with another human being, who is not arguing with logic, is a complete and total waste of time and is burning precious moments of our life that could be spent on anything that is more interesting, productive, or satisfying. 

Life is a delicate balance of having interesting conversations with worthy individuals who are capable of understanding the topics we are talking about, and are desirous of exchanging interesting information, such that both parties benefit from the discourse. 

I personally enjoy having conversations with people who have a disparate perspective than that of my own, because in the course of hearing what they have to say, I am often times educated and find myself better for having had the discussion. 

Yet, I still find myself getting lured into discussions that are pointless, and I have made it a policy to recognize this earlier than I used to, so that I might be able to politely find a way to terminate the discussion. 

In many cases, the fastest way to do this, is to just allow them to believe that they are correct, and thank them for the discussion. 

If you try and have the last word in one of these conversations, the conversation will never end. 

It is far wiser to keep one’s mouth closed and be thought a fool, then to open it and confirm it. 

Happy Thursday!

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Sometimes all you can do is keep your head up, stay strong, let go and move on.

When is it time to finally admit, something is not going to work? 

Is there any specific moment where it is so obvious that the only choice left is to concede? 

In the game of chess, when you are in checkmate, there is no additional move. The only option left, is to concede. 

In life there are so many reasons for us to remain tenacious, persistent, and diligent. Yet there are clearly times when none of these efforts will bear any fruit whatsoever… in which case, that is the moment to throw in the proverbial white towel and move on to other pastures. 

How do we know when these moments have arrived? There’s certainly no clear-cut answer to this question, and of course, it will entirely depend upon what those circumstances are, that have driven you to this point, and what your resilience and/or capacity to rebound from the circumstances truly are. 

For example, if you are bidding on a contract, and the contract has been awarded to another party, is that the moment to concede or is that the moment to try even harder to win it back? That would entirely depend on the terms and the circumstances of the contract, but it is certainly one of those key mile stone moments in which we must source search and ask ourselves whether or not, there is anything left in the equation that warrants our time, or whether we would be better served, putting our energy into another opportunity. 

In personal relationships, I have watched various people struggle and struggle to stay in a relationship that is not working. There are 100 good reasons to try to do that, and yet there are unquestionably times, and circumstances, where no matter what both parties do, the water is under the bridge and the relationship has arrived at irreconcilable differences. 

The best we can do in life is to stay very aware, fully cognizant of all of the variables, as well as seeking the professional guidance of others who will help us potentially see things that we ourselves are remaining blinded to, as a result of our own stake in the game. 

Awareness of reality is a very important skillset, cultivated over time through trial and error and large doses of empirical knowledge and empirical learning. 

Happy Wednesday!

https://brianweiner.com

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People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention.

Are you certain where you stand with specific people in your life?

How exactly are you certain?

Do you believe everything they say?

Or do you watch specifically what they do?

The chasm between those two can often be far more expansive than we might, at first, presume. The opportunity to connect with other people, generate a bond, build a friendship, fall in love, or any permutation in between, is one of life‘s greatest joys.

That said, there are plenty of times when someone may be willing to pay you lip service, so that you are hearing exactly what you want to hear, even though from their perspective, their feelings are far more disparate than what they express.

If you give people enough time, and provide enough opportunity, almost without question, they will eventually identify your minimal importance in comparison to deeper feelings that they are harboring, and in their actions, you will see a full reveal.

Many times, we are blind to someone’s actions, and in the course of this, we are deluding ourselves into believing something is true, when, in fact, it may not be even remotely as true as we believe. There are many people who are more than willing to use another human being to enable them to achieve some goal in their lives that the other party is able to facilitate.

If you are the party that is being used, there is a large emotional let down that awaits you when you wake up to discover that you were just a chess piece, and they were moving skillfully around with you, such that they might accomplish whatever it is they were setting out to accomplish.

I think it is a wise opportunity to extend ourselves on behalf of other people. I try to make it a point to make the first overture of kindness in a friendship, through whatever appropriate expression of that kindness makes best sense for the situation.

That said, it always fascinates me to watch whether there is any form of reciprocity, appreciation, acknowledgment, or anything to allow me to understand the party with whom I am engaging. When the response is minimal or nonexistent, I become fully aware that there is a great likelihood that my suppositions about that party are not as accurate as I may have hoped, and as a result, I find myself second-guessing, whether or not I want to continue to be as benevolent as I had started out in the beginning.

If you give somebody long enough, you can almost always read them like a book.

Stay aware, and happy Tuesday!

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As long as you don’t give up, nothing is over.

Why quit when there is still a good chance you can prevail?

When you want something, your entire focus and dedication must be concentrated in order to achieve it. 

Inevitably, there will be considerable setbacks. That may plague your pathway to achievement, but these in and of themselves cannot be your final deterrent when you want something of this magnitude. 

The only time the quest is completely lost is when we are willing to throw in the proverbial towel and call it “a day.” Until that time, the opportunity still exists, our determination and focus will drive those obstacles into obscurity, if our persistence and tenacity will take over and win the quest. 

There’s very little reason to limit oneself in any pursuit of magnitude, for there always remains unknown variables that could potentially take your chances from limited to likely in an instant. 

This does not mean that every focused and dedicated effort will always result in the desired outcome. It does mean that with your diligence and determination, you can be that much more likely to stay in the game, rather than to acquiesce to external details that continue to reinforce for us the unlikelihood of our succeeding. 

America’s Got Talent has made some of their greatest moments like the one with Susan Boyle, where there is a person who had everything against her, and yet with her focus and her determination, she got up on the stage, looking frumpy, won the hearts and minds of people all over the world with her song, I Dreamed a Dream, from Les Miserables, and turned herself into an international star with one performance. 

It just boils down to whether or not we are willing to ignore all of the sign posts that tell us something is futile and instead believe the song in our heart, that sings true time and time again. 

Happy Vernal Equinox! 

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If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail.

KOBE BRYANT

How adept are you at keeping your head in the game?

Many profess to keep their mind in exactly the right spot, but far fewer are actually able to do it.

Your mind is the beacon to all things… tangible and intangible. 

In that space, you are able to channel the power of the universe and leverage all of the source energy at your disposal, but very few people are ever exposed to this basic fact of life. 

Many authors have written about these topics and even more have made a single comment in passing that gives way to our understanding that they were tuned into this thought process. Today’s aphorism from Kobe, who was unquestionably one the greatest of the basketball players of all time, clues us into this mindset and gives us opportunity to follow in suit. Kobe also stated, “I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”

These thoughts may appear to be a form of self hypnosis, in which the person opining about the topic is just filling us up with their internal coaching dialogue, but I think it is much more substantive than that. I have studied numerous luminaries, each ultimately professing the ultimate power of the mind to overcome all obstacles and arrive at the desired outcome. 

Ludwig van Beethoven referred to this as his “better genius,” as he lamented, “The true artist is not proud: he unfortunately sees that art has no limits; he feels darkly how far he is from the goal, and though he may be admired by others, he is sad not to have reached that point to which his better genius only appears as a distant, guiding sun.”

All people of higher achievement are consistently beckoning those who will listen, to tap into this resource. Does this mean that only people of higher achievement have this resource, or does it mean that we all have it, but most are unaware as to how to access the internal dialogue necessary to unlock this precious gift?

The more you read, the more you learn that the power of the mind is as absolute as fire is hot. If you are continuously leveraging your mind’s greatest gifts and its deepest connection to the greater powers in the universe, you are far more likely to excel. 

Conversely, if you wish to live in fear, spending your time presupposing that every risk you take will result in failure, you will unquestionably draw these results, and deliver a self fulfilling prophecy.

Keep your head in the game.

Happy Sunday!

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People don’t call themselves visionaries, other people call them visionary. I’m just Ted Turner.

TED TURNER

Are you a visionary?

How do you know?

Visionary – adjective
(especially of a person) thinking about or planning the future with imagination or wisdom.

The word, visionary, gets used frequently, because, by definition, many human beings have imagination and wisdom and focus that on planning the future. It is more common than would be imagined. 

Visionaries are distinguished in society for not only envisioning the future, but actually acting on those visions with intent and expectation of manifesting them into reality, such that everyone else will be able to experience and appreciate those visions come to fruition in whatever form they may take.

As with any broad collection of humanity, such a definition would have countless subcategories, as does the Nobel Prize. These categories enable us to put visionaries into collected groups for all to learn from, appreciate and hone their own personal perspectives to becoming ever more akin to those visionaries whom they admire most.

Being a visionary can require considerably more than the broad dictionary definition above. People called Nostradamus a visionary, and I cannot tell you if any of his visions came to fruition, but as someone who makes bold predictions about the future, perhaps he warrants the title, and perhaps not.

I believe the title is warranted when the visionary acts upon that vision and produces it in whatever form that may take. For Ted Turner to create a 24 hour news platform that was global was unquestionably visionary for the time. It was revolutionary. We find visionaries in all walks of life…each has a gift of seeing things that a majority of their peers are not seeing, and are able, through their resources, to manifest that vision into reality.

Being a Visionary of the highest calibre requires a long string of prerequisites. By definition, this must start with a full awareness of what already is and what already has been. You can have a great idea about something, and quickly discover that someone else was there before you. Once your vision has been qualified as yet to be realized, your next step is finding a large dose of courage. 

The courage is required because the next segment of your life will demand it with regularity. Once you have activated the proverbial switch that says: ACTIVATE MY VISION, your life will become a blend of heaven and hell. It will be heaven because you are on the path to bringing your great vision to life. It will be hell for exactly the same reason! Pack a travel bag, and be sure to include ingenuity, passion, determination, diligence, tenacity, intelligence, wisdom, fortitude, persistence, will power and make sure to have a background in the construction of contracts, and the legal rights that are ensconced within. Oh! And learn how to play Chess. If you do not understand gray logic, then you are missing a key component that will come to your aid. Bonus points if you earn a black belt in any martial art along the way. This will teach you quiet determination unlike any other discipline. 

Most importantly, pack humility.

For others may call you visionary, or lunatic… and all the words in-between. 

Your role is to ignore all titles and grandiosity that comes with them. Instead, your role is to manifest your vision. Full stop. End of story. If others think you are visionary, great! If they don’t, also great! It matters, not. What matters is that you know you believe in what you are doing and that you have a clear (mostly) path to accomplishing it.

Happy Saturday!

https://brianweiner.com

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Being selective about who gets your energy, is self-care.

Do you give equal time and energy to everyone who needs some of your time? 

The option to do so is unquestionably a slippery slope for many reasons. If you are not judicious about doling out your time appropriately, you will wake up 20 years from now and realize that a couple decades have slipped behind you and many of the details that you thought were most important, proved not to be, for 100 different reasons. 

In your reflection, you might recognize what percentage of your life you dedicated to those people or resources, and question whether or not that was the most wise choice for you. 

Our choice to be friendly, helpful, supportive, and understanding of others, facilitates a deep need to provide comfort and respite to those who are desirous of receiving such. 

This does not mean that when evaluated in the large scope of energy devoted throughout your lifetime, that you are necessarily always making the best choices. 

Sometimes, being altruistic and generous with yourself, is the most admirable quality of all. Yet, other times, we can find ourselves getting trapped into the vortex of someone else’s time suck, such that hours, days weeks, months, and years of our lives are evaporating before our very eyes. 

Understanding these parameters, and staying highly aware that these are realistic circumstances that must be considered, is critical to the prudent individual who is looking to maximize their time on planet earth, and yield the greatest results, not only for themselves, but for those whom they care about. 

Happy Friday!

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Surround yourself with people who illuminate your path.  Who push you to dig deeper.  Who make you happy. Who make you laugh. Who pray for you and support you, even in the hard times. Those are your people.

KRISTEN BUTLER

Do you have the right people in your orbit?

If you are surrounding yourself with people of magnitude, they complement your life in countless ways. 

A good team member in your life will openly challenge anything in your world with an open heart, and a clear desire to help you to improve and mature, in ways that only a close ally is able to provide. 

These are the people who spend time laughing with you, collaborating with you, vacationing with you, doing social activities with you, continuously engaging in each other’s lives in deep and meaningful ways. 

You will undoubtedly find yourself with numerous squads in your life, each having its own unique qualities and benefits. But collectively, the sum total of all of these squads ultimately provide you with a framework and a construct of magnitude, such that you may continue to blossom and grow. 

Concurrently, we are each part of many other people’s squads in life. In our role to them, it is incumbent upon us to provide comparable support, humor, wisdom, compassion, and a deep understanding that allows those people to feel appreciated, and understood, in ways that only a close ally is capable of providing. 

When you find people like this in your life, treat them like gold, for there is nothing more valuable than having deep relationships with people whom you may count on in the toughest of times. 

Happy Thursday!

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