They start missing you, when they fail to replace you.

Personally and professionally, this adage is always true.

Whether it is your colleagues, friends, lover, partners, clients, or team… it is always the same.

If you are being taken advantage of, or you are simply feeling as if your value is overlooked, you are likely to eventually leave for greener pastures. Everyone wants to feel as if their value is known, appreciated and honored in all the appropriate methods. When we are left wanting, we want more. It is a human response.

In that thought process, leading up to the determination that gives cause to leave, we evaluate many variables, replay conversations in our mind, review telltale signs that have appeared over time and then, one day, we know it is time to go on to new chapters of our life and leave the current chapter in the rear view mirror.

This is where it starts to get interesting for both sides of the equation. While we are infused with the initial momentum that spawned our departure, we are flying on the adrenaline that gave us cause to leave. We tell ourselves that we will not look in the rear view mirror, we will not consider returning to our safety zone, we will accelerate into our new future with all of the enthusiasm that we may conjure.

Simultaneously, they are experiencing a void that you had recently filled. That void may be physical, psychological, mental, experiential, emotional or many other forms. As that void becomes ever more present in your absence, their (perhaps previously missing) appreciation of you grows exponentially.

If your worth is every bit as strong as you believe that it is, then your vacancy will generate the significant loss that this aphorism speaks of. They say that, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and if the absence is such that it leaves the other party, individual or company with a genuine void in your wake, then it is natural that they will look in the rear view mirror at the good old days when you were there for them.

Conversely, if our new opportunity is not the rose-colored garden that we envisioned for ourselves, as our initial adrenaline wears off and the reality sets in, we may find ourselves yearning to return to our safety zone. 

Sometimes it is wise to go back. They have grown to miss you, and perhaps you have grown to miss them. With open hearts, minds and communication, this can lead to very positive reconciliations.

Sometimes the exact opposite is true. The choice to leave has made the relationship toxic, and whether they miss you or not, they are determined that under no circumstances will you ever be allowed to return.

Choosing to leave is a very difficult decision. If you opt to vacate a relationship that has been of significance to you and others combined, my personal advice is to do it with class. If at all possible, do not leave the other party in a bad space in your departure. Keep your karma clean and your path forward, open.

Happy Monday!

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Written by Brian Weiner
When I was 5 years old, I discovered that the lemon tree in the backyard + dixie cups + water and sugar and I was in business. I have been hooked on that ever since. In 1979, I borrowed $14,000 to create a brand new product... photographic greeting cards with no text on the inside, called Paradise Photography. That was the start of The Illusion Factory. Since then, The Illusion Factory has been entrusted by all of the major studios and broadcasters with the advertising and marketing of over $7 billion in filmed, live, broadcast, gaming, AR, VR and regulated gaming forms of entertainment, generating more than $100 Billion in revenue and 265 awards for creativity and technology for our clients. When I took a break from film school at UCLA to move to Hawaii, my mother did not lecture me. Instead, she took 150 of her favorite aphorisms and in her beautiful calligraphy, wrote them artistically throughout a blank journal. That is the origin of the Lessons from the Mountain series. Since then, on my journeys to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise, I have spent countless hours contemplating words of wisdom from the sages of all races, genders and political persuasions, constantly accumulating the thoughts to guide me on my life path. I hope you enjoy my books. Please let me know your thoughts, as I highly value your feedback!